


It's Not A Fanny Pack! It's A Utility Belt!

by 3DBABE1999



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Explicit Language, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-13 06:50:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,773
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16012544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/3DBABE1999/pseuds/3DBABE1999
Summary: ...Just fluffy crack...





	It's Not A Fanny Pack! It's A Utility Belt!

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Teen Wolf CRACK'tastic'ness Stiles Centric Fic.. other than that.. I have no clue.. None.. Don't ask..
> 
> A/N: WARNING.. Author uses BAD LANGUAGE in the A/N's ..
> 
> Oh my gosh.. I'm officially a Fandom Slut (see the bad language?.. I told you so..).. 
> 
> ~0~

"It's not a Fanny Pack! It's a Utility Belt!"

~0~

"Dude!... What is that?!" Scott asked as he shook his head looking embarrassed for his best friend. "Is that a Fanny Pack?!"

"It's not a Fanny Pack!" Stiles shouted sounding indignant.

"Forget the Fanny Pack, you should be worried about that lime green shirt with those red shorts." Lydia chimed in as she ignored Stiles jumping up and down trying to interrupt with "It's not a Fanny Pack!" beside her and Scott. And when Lydia insulted Stiles' choice of wardrobe as well as his *not a Fanny Pack*, she continued to ignore him as he shouted "It's a matching ensemble! See The Batman Symbol on the shorts?, It MATCHES The Batman Symbol on the shirt!"

"Hey guys, what's up?" Kira asked as she joined the small group "Hey Scott.."

"Hey.." Scott replied as he walked over and gave Kira a sweet kiss.

"Awww.. They're so adorable." Stiles stated, batting his eyes and clutching his hands to his heart. "Hey, dude, when's Liam getting here?"

"He's not.. He got grounded." Scott replied grumpily, still cuddling Kira close to his side.

"Ah, the joys of childhood." Stiles quipped.

"Oh my god, Stiles, is that a Fanny Pack?" Kira asked as she finally took notice of the thing around Stiles' waist.

"It is not a Fanny Pack! It's a.." Stiles growled.

"There is no way you're going to be able to traipse through the woods in those sandals.." Derek interupted as he emerged from the treeline to join the group, the entire time he was staring at Stiles' feet.. "And what is that thing around your waist?" He asked as he finally looked up and noticed the monstrosity around Stiles' waist.

"It's hot outside!" Stiles stated as he defended his choice of footwear "And they match the rest of the ensemble.. See The Batman Symbol?.."

"And what about the Fanny Pack?" Derek asked.

"It is NOT a Fanny Pack!" Now Stiles sounded like he was about to have a tantrum.

"Stiles, sweetie, matching Batman Symbols does not an ensemble make." Lydia stated as she flicked her hair off her shoulder. "And that is so a Fanny Pack."

"It is not, not, not, not, NOT a Fanny Pack, people!" Stiles whined.

"Show of hands.. Who all here, thinks that, that monstrosity around Stiles' waist is a Fanny Pack?" Lydia asked the rest of the group..

Everyone but Stiles raised their hands as Stiles shouted "It is not a Fanny Pack, people!"

Stiles recieved a tap on the shoulder and when he turned around Jackson was there with his hand also in the air "It's a Fanny Pack." Jackson stated in his most douchebaggery of ways.

Then Stiles shook his head as everyone kept their hands in the air to prove that they weren't going to be swayed into taking his side on this "Whatever." Stiles looked at Derek.. "So, where is this mysterious "secret" place you're taking us?"

"It's a little closer to the middle of The Preserve.. .. And you're going to regret wearing those sandals especially walking over the kinds of terrain we'll have to travel over."

Stiles scoffed "Pfft.. I'll be fine."

"Your doom, man." Derek replied looking at Stiles feet again "Just try not to break an ankle or get a fallen tree branch stabbed through either of your feet... I swear.. Even Lydia is at least wearing hiking boots"

Derek hadn't been kidding, the terrain had been rough.. Even Scott stumbled a few times and he was a werewolf and wearing a smarter choice of footwear that wasn't sandals... Everyone in the small group was so busy trying to keep from falling and breaking their own necks to look back and make sure that Stiles hadn't fallen and broken his.

Finally, the terrain evened out going to a field of wildflowers to an expanse of smooth sand.. And that's when someone from the group finall looked back to check on Stiles.

"Awe, man.." Scott whined.. "Stiles!" He shouted when it was revealed that Stiles wasn't at the back of the group where he had been when they had started out.

"Oh great.. The spaz probably fell and broke his ankle." Jackson growled "I swear, I am not going to go back through all that HELL to try to find him, for all we know he got only three steps and fell flat on his face, there's no way I am going all the way back for him.. Those freaking woods are a death trap. It's not happening"

"Oh, the mighty werewolf is so brave." Lydia stated sarcasticly. "Jordan will go back with me to find him.. Won't you Jordan?"

"Deputy, Parrish?" Derek asked sounding confused as he took in the Deputy slash Hellhound in his "casual" wear of a pair of blue and white striped shorts and an American Flag tank top and flimsy black flip flops that were a worse choice of footwear than even Stiles' sandals. "How did you get up here?"

Jordan snorted as he poked a thumb over his shoulder "I took the trail that Stiles told me about yesterday.. He was worried when he looked back and you guys weren't there, he asked me to come back and find you just in case you were being delayed by something with claws and fangs."

"Wait.. There's a trail?!" Jackson shouted with indignation and at Jordan's nod "We went through all that hell and there's a TRAIL?!.. And that little twerp Stilinski knew about it and didn't tell us?"

"Uh.. Jackson, I kept saying it yesterday when Derek was telling us about the "secret" lake in The Preserve.. I kept saying "Hey, I think I know where that is.. Is there like this field of wildflowers growing just up the hill?".. And things like "Hey.. I think I've been swimming there before and there's a trail that leads up there.".. But just like always.. No one listens to me." Stiles stated as he came up the back part of the trail behind Parrish... "And I think I also said something along the lines of "By the way.. I don't think this lake is as secret as you think it is because I know a lot of other kids go out there to party or camp out.."

Sure enough as the group drew closer to the lake the werewolves could pick up the sounds of other people having fun by the "secret" lake.

And when they got even closer even the humans in the group could hear all the noise and it was then that everyone started scowling at Derek.

"Secret lake?" Lydia chirped with a raised eyebrow.

"No worries, me and Jordan already saved us one of the better spots on the sand, you guys can just drop your stuff with ours." Stiles stated then he gave his best immitation of Lydia as he pretended to flick non existant hair from his shoulder "Oh wait, you guys didn't bring any stuff."

Only then, did the group notice that Stiles wasn't wearing that hideous Fanny Pack and as they rounded the copse of trees revealing the small lake with the sandy beach area around it Jordan and Stiles guided them to an area where there was a large black towel that was almost the size of a king sized bed, the towel had a giant Batman Symbol on it and under the symbol the words "I'm not saying I'm Batman I'm just saying nobody has ever seen me and Batman in a room together." And upon closer inspection one could see that the towel had a zipper around the edges as if it could be zipped up into a more compact size. At the side of the towel there was a large bottle of sunscreen, an ice chest, a basket with packages of chips and cookies, a beach umbrella that still had not been put up to shade the towel just yet, two cell phones, two pairs of sunglasses and stack of extra beach towels that lay folded on top of another basket.

Lydia, Jackson, Kira and Scott all took in the sight then sent more scowls in Derek's direction, none of them had been able to bring much with them because they had "needed to travel light" due to the "dangerous" trek through the woods.

"Uh.. I didn't know there was a trail.. The last time I was here was before.."

Oh.. Well, that wiped the scowls off of everyone's faces.. Derek didn't even have to finish his sentence everyone already knew what "before" he was talking about.. before the fire, before his family died..

"Hey, no problem." Scott replied with a nod of his head breaking the akward silence that had fallen on the group.

Just then Danny came down the trail carrying more baskets with more supplies, one looked like it had a net and a volleyball along with a deflated beach ball and a handheld air pump.

"I brought some pool floaties and some other stuff if you guys wanna help me get everything aired up?" Danny stated as he sat the baskets by the other stuff.

"How did you even get all this stuff up here?" Jackson asked.

"Dude, my car's parked right down the trail." Danny said as he pointed a thumb over his shoulder, supposedly in the general direction of where his car was parked.

"There's a road that leads up here?!" Jackson exclaimed, the scowls were all back but this time not directed at Derek.

"Yet another thing I mentioned yesterday that fell on deaf ears.".. Stiles replied.. "I ended up riding up here with Danny and Jordan when I realized you guys were no longer behind me... You guys had me worried something had eaten all of you."

"Us, behind you?.. Dude, we thought YOU were behind US!" Scott exclaimed. "We were worried about YOU.. We actually almost went back through the woods to find you."

"Correction, McCall.. YOU almost went back through the woods to go find him, I wasn't about to do jack to find "Toothpick" over here." Jackson said as pointed at Stiles.

Danny just looked at all of them with a raised eyebrow "Well... Everyone's here now.. Sssooo.. Who wants to help me air up the floaties?"

"Ooh.. I wanna air up the beach ball!" Stiles answered witha raised hand and a happy little hop in the air.

Danny happily handed over the beach ball to Stiles along with the small handheld air pump, then he moved the net and volleyball out of the basket to reveal a few deflated and rolled up pool floaties along with three extra handheld air pumps.

"I'll air up the orange one." Jackson huffed with a roll of his eyes.

"Is that sea foam green one of those seashell shaped inflatable lounges?" Lydia asked.

"Yep.. Wanna air it up?" Danny asked.

"Nope.. Just wondering what it was." Lydia quipped as she ploped down on the huge batman towel that obviously belonged to Stiles.

"I'll do it." Kira seemed almost as happy as Stiles about inflated pool floaties. "I haven't really got to do a whole lot of swimming since I developed my powers.

Everyone went silent again.

"I am not getting into the water with electricity girl." Jackson stated as he worked to air up the orange floatie.

Kira pouted.

"I'll swim with you Kira." Stiles stated as he finished airing up the beach ball and tossed her his air pump as the other air pumps had been wordlessly claimed by Scott and Jordan who were airing up pink and purple inflatable chairs. Kira caught the pump then looked to Jackson "I've got a handle on my powers thank you very much."

"Yeah.. Only after your crazy sebaticle in the desert." Jackson retorted.

"Hey, hey.. Low blow.." Stiles interjected "We do not bring up the problems caused by He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named during Pack Fun Time."

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Jackson asked "You mean Voldemort?"

"No dumbass, he means Theo Raeken." Danny replied.

"Danny!... Dude, what part about the whole He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named thing did you not understand?!" Stiles huffed.

Danny just rolled his eyes then went to set up the volleyball net.

Stiles grabbed the big bottle of sunscreen and applied dollups of its contents all over the bits of skin his clothes wasn't covering, then after a good five minutes of nagging and motherhenning he got the others to apply sunscreen to themselves as well.

Soon everyone was having fun either swimming, floating on the lake on the pool floaties Danny brought, playing volleyball or laying on the beach towels under the big beach umbrella that Danny had ended up erecting while Stiles had made wisecracks about it being "erect"..

"Dude, it's freaking hot out here." Stiles panted as he lunged back and forth to hit the volleyball over the net "It's like a million degrees outside.. How the hell are you guys not roasting your fury werewolf asses off right now?"

This was the ninth time Stiles had complained about the heat.

"Stop your griping about the heat or I'm gonna toss you in the lake head first." Jackson growled as he rushed to the net and spiked the ball into the ground at Stiles' now bare feet.

Stiles grumbled under his breath in reply someting about him "missing the days when Jackson was afraid of water" as he picked up the ball and tossed it to Scott because it was their turn to serve and Stiles usually couldn't serve worth crap.

The volleyball game got back under way and after the teams had started a third game Stiles grouched that he needed to hydrate because it was freaking hot.. He went to go towards the ice chest by the towels but ended up flung into the lake instead "Hydrate with that." Jackson crowed with laughter as Stiles splashed his way back to the lake's beach.

"Oh you think that's funny do you?" Lydia asked, she had literally popped up out of nowhere, Stiles could swear she had just been lounging on his towel only a second ago.

Jackson had barely turned around and gotten a "Wha?.." out before Lydia shoved him into the lake just like he had to Stiles.. Now everyone was laughing... Even Jackson.. yeah he could still be a douchebag, but he really wasn't as big of a douchebag as he used to be..

Lydia gave a curtsey then went and plopped back down on Stiles' Batman Beach Towel..

Stiles climbed out the water with good natured grumbling about how his shirt was all wet and sticking to him now aa he started peeling it off..

Danny let a low whistle of appreciation.. "Hey Stiles, you're now finally officially attractive to at least one gay guy!"

Stiles beamed Danny a huge smile while everyone ogled the sudden display of the hot chiseled chest and and and muscular shoulders that literally no one expected Stiles to have.

As the afternoon wore down Malia and Braeden showed up and most everyone abandonned everything else to build a bonfire and let some of the other teens at the lake that they knew from school gather round and soon people were cuddling beside the bonfire with their significant others, Scott and Kira, Derek and Braeden, Lydia and Jordan, Stiles and Malia (who were back together now that, that asshole "who-shall-not-be-named" was out of the picture and Malia had learned how to move past both Stiles' mistakes as well as her own), leaving Jackson and Danny as the odd men out as neither of them had anyone to cuddle with, but they seemed cool with just leaning against a large piece of driftwood Scott had dragged over for people to sit on if they wanted.

When it began to grow dusk as the sun slowly sank towards the horizon everyone began to clean up and gather everything back up.

When Stiles had zipped his Batman Towel back into shape it was clear that the towel and the infamous Fanny Pack were one in the same and after it was mostly zipped their was still room to fit a few odds and ins into the pack before closing it all the way, which Stiles did, stuffing the bottle of sunscree, is sunglasses, a bottle of water, his cellphone and keys into the pack then zipping it the rest of the way and refastening it around his waist.

"Is that a Fanny Pack?" Braeden asked with a smirk.

"It's not a Fanny Pack!" Malia shouted "It's a Utility Belt!"

"FINALLY! Someone gets it!" Stiles cheered happily as he kissed Malia and ignored how everyone else groaned in unison.

The End..


End file.
